Coworkers

So I have decided to post again today because I have missed a few days and just want to do some typing right now. The topic I want to at least start on is coworkers because so many people hate or at least strongly dislike a lot of their coworkers or bosses. I honestly don't understand this a lot because I have never had problems with coworkers or bosses in any of the three jobs I have worked so far. I stayed in my first job for three years and loved. If it wasn't for me becoming a giant slacker through my freshman year of college I would still have it. Then my second job came around, which was also in the food industry, and I loved that job as well. The people at both places were great, welcoming, and the managers were all really cool. I never had enemies. Granted there were some people I didn't agree with on some things and we weren't close friends, but I didn't ever have a true enemy or someone who I argued with on a regular basis. Also take into this was the food industry which is known for being a very stressful and poor coworker and boss atmosphere. I realize that there are special cases where bosses truly are unbearable, do horrible things, and treat people terribly, but I believe that for the most part how much you enjoy work and get along with coworkers is completely up to yourself. Yes people can sometimes be annoying, but it is you who chooses how you react to that. You can brush it off, realize how insignificant it is, and make friends or at least not enemies with them anyways. This may be hard to do and take a lot of will power, but it will definitely be worth it. I cannot tell you how many times a certain relative of mine has job hopped due to drama at work. It makes you miserable because you spend a ton of time at your job. Do you like drama in your family? I would guess for most that you do not, and statistically people spend almost as much if not more time at work than they do with their families (yes, this is a very sad fact). So why would you want work to be filled with drama and people you don't get along with? There is more than two people that you have problems with at work odds are you are at least a good portion to blame for this. Fighting and arguing takes two or more people, not just one. I am not trying to act perfect because I have definitely gotten in disagreements with coworker, but never at the cost of a friendship. They are always resolved by the end of the discussion and I can usual make sure no one walks away hating or strongly disliking the other person. Just remember that contrary to popular belief...you are not the center of the world. I know this is Earth shattering news to some, but it can be a huge eye opener. You are just another employee just like they are, and maybe, just maybe, you don't have the greatest and brightest ideas all the time. Realize that from their perspective they think they are just as right as you do. People get in this mind set that everyone else in the world are complete idiots, and they know how to do things better than everyone else. Of course you think your ideas are best because they are YOUR ideas! Your manager is your manager for a reason. Granted some get into position like that based on politics and butt kissing, but for the most part people are in positions of leadership because they were once in your shoes and were promoted. This means that they probably know what they are doing, not always but most of the time. Most employees want to think that they can run everything better than every boss they work under, yet they have no clue what the boss's job actually consists of doing. I worked for one manager who told me that he use to think managing a restaurant seemed so much easier than the hourly employee job until he got into the position and realized how much stuff that they have to do that no one even sees. Then he thought that the General Manager must have it easier then, but then he got there and realized their job was even harder than the regular manager's job. The grass is always greener on the other side, but they are paid more for a reason. Most of the time when you think a job seems like a piece of cake it is because you have only seen a small portion of the job. So before you get all ticked off because your manager can be a jerk sometimes (not excusing being a jerk to people which is completely not cool) just think about all the crap he might have to do on a daily basis that you never see, all the crappy employees he has to put up with (possibly even yourself included), all the crap he might get from his bosses which could be even worse than he is, and still be making the crappy pay that most restaurant managers make. Often time anger is like a snowball that starts at the top of the chain and works its way down until it is unloaded onto an hourly employee. I use to wonder why one of my managers were always in a bad mood, but then one day I saw how crappy her boss treated her and realized exactly what put her in the bad moods. You are not the only one in the world with problems, and honestly, based on the average American problems, your problems are probably absolutely nothing! I am not trying to act like I am happy all the time and that life is just a giant box of rainbows and joy because its not. I am just saying that it all comes down to perspective. There are plenty of times that I get down and ticked off, but I usually don't stay that way for very long. This is a change that I have undergone recently, and I love it. It has changed everything I do because now I don't stress nearly as much and get along amazing with people. I use to have anger issues as a kid and was a giant worry wart, but then I realized how much my problems don't matter and tried looking from the other person's perspective. It is easy to get angry and to want to get back at another person, but what takes true talent and work is choosing to not let it effect you and returning that bad treatment from the person with kindness. I know it sounds super cheesy, but it is completely true. Most people don't expect you to respond nicely when they are being hateful and are looking for some drama, so when you respond nicely and don't get upset it will often times leave them very shocked. This could even change their mood completely and make them feel ridiculous for being a jerk. I know I commented in the last post how crappy society is becoming, but at the same time people still are genuinely nice (most of them). If you just don't attack back and sometimes just listen and let the person get it all off their chest, then it may never turn into the drama scene it would if you started firing back. Most people don't want to be hateful and mean, but just get caught up in the moment and their emotions. Some people say that it is good to argue and get things out, and I completely disagree. It is good to not bottle things up and to get things off your chest (or vent) but this does not have to mean getting in an argument. Arguments are not good no matter how they happen and to whom they are happening with. They don't solve problems, and usually result in just more anger and problems. I want to clarify that there is a big difference between arguing and debating. I love to debate with people all day and bounce feelings and ideas back and forth, but I can't stand to argue. I will end here and stop rambling on about things that everyone has heard over and over again for years. From a person who has had anger issues to the point of receiving an anger management video from another kid as a birthday present, just don't do it. Don't fire back and get revenge. It solves nothing.
Sincerely - CO